Better

by Aileen Ma

When you open up my bag
You will find a worn-bound book
Inkstained pages and the sweetest scent
of mango leaves will flow

There is no lock on it no key
because I write in mirror-ese

So you thumb through all my doodles
wondering.

At least that's how it seems.

But how would I know
when your words are so
cold. Not to

say that you hurt me or anything.

Or anything.

Cuz really it's all
spelled out
you treat me like you'd treat yourself

I'm like
your unrelated twin
like your second skin
and you're such a narcissist

you are oh so descructive

but mostly
you're sweet.

Just not always
to me.

When you open up my bag
you will find a worn-bound book
Inkstained pages and the sweetest scent
of mango leaves will flow

There is no lock or key
because I write in mirror-ese

So you thumb through all
my doodles wondering.

Will I read you
just
a page?

Maybe, I say.

You flip to a random page
and I can feel my insides ache

You may say you're logical
and that I'm emotional
but really I'm more
like you than you'd think.

Because in this worn-bound book of
mine that I refuse to call a diary

I keep a diary.

But
I always distract myself

cuz that's what mirrors are
for.

So everything is
hidden in
the swivel of the script
and not the page.

So all the little things on
the page you picked will
seem to spell

that I've never really known you

that I never really will.

but the truth. Is.

I never let down my guard
not even in my
worn bound book
because
I know you way too well.

But how would you know

When my words were better
than I could ever be

Not that I would
ever hurt you

or anything.

Not to say that you hurt me or anything.

Or anything at all.